one is clear, i am not interested in nature. i like cities and subways and cars and freeways and streets, i love streets and aimless walking, repetitious religious adoration of some street corner. i always choose the same route when i am walking. i like repetition. i like knowing the building fronts and i like knowing the crooks on the pavement. and i like walking in solitude and i like the unnatural heat in the city because the air gets thick and damp and some sickening fullness overpowers heightening the sense of your own skin like in the first chapter of 'bell jar' and your head buzzes like you can not go on but you keep walking. since i quit smoking i bearly make rests, i plan to but i just keep on going. some nights the smells are pretty and sweet and sometimes quite the opposite kind of gross and sewigy but you can not quit sniffing...and each night smells different in a different city, but bars, they smell alike...at least the ones i liked to frequent.

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